Be Devoted to Ourselves

Living today feels intimidating. I don’t have many other options, and it feels important for me to name that. I acknowledge that this feeling is a moment, and it will also shift to something different. Still, I notice that my chest is tight and that I feel like I “need to do something” to lower my anxiety. What could I do with my time to lessen my stress? 

I’m a listmaker. Each day I have to decide what is enough to have on my list. Of the innumerable perspectives on life, how can I know what to prioritize? I’ve just started my day, and the list is auto-populating: Drink water, move your body, connect with husband, water the plants, check emails, write that contract, read that book, shower and shave, mourn my friend, remember what was on yesterday's list…  

What if I take a breath and just sit for a minute? 

What if I close my eyes, breath deeply, and pay attention to my body? I can scan my body, from head to toe, try to relax all the muscles and notice how I feel. From this moment, I get the sense that there is something I already know that can inform my list. I feel my feet on the floor and my hands in my lap. As thoughts interrupt, I notice them and return my attention to my breathing. 

A few minutes later I open my eyes, and things feel different. I feel clearer somehow, I’m in a mode to respond now more than react. In that short time I “remembered” something about who I am and what’s important. By not focusing on what to do, somehow I revealed to myself how I should prioritize things today. 

The everyday world moves so fast. When I slow myself down, I am more intentional and make better decisions. If time is the one resource I can’t replenish, I want to be devoted to myself by using it well. 

It is a commitment to myself that I make the hard decisions and stay present with the challenges by giving myself time. At least for now, I’m not answering that phone call, scrolling through my phone or distracting myself from the work of being me. I take dominion in my life!